About Voles

Like all blogs, this one is a dead vole.

Here’s what I mean. My wife Rachel and I [Carl] have cats. They get to go outside and as a result, they bring us cargo in the form of various dead, nearly dead, or disturbingly-not-at-all-dead animals. Their favorite cargo is a small beastie that inhabits our yard. These are shrews, but because we prefer our references Monty Python rather than Shakespeare we call them voles.

As a result of this attempted gift exchange we have developed what we call the “dead vole theory.” Anytime someone offers you something they clearly think is of great value but that you honestly find impertinent or distasteful, they are offering a ‘dead vole’.

Dead voles may be recommendations of tv shows, music, food, reading material; they may be religions, philosophies, or political views; they may be pet theories or advice about how to live your life. The thing about the vole is that it’s just totally fabulous to them, it really is. But it’s not to you, and this creates a bind, because you want to accept this generous gift in the spirit of giving. But gosh, dude, it’s a dead vole.