How do you manage anger?

by johnmccreery

I’ve done it again, second time in as many weeks. I’m looking at an email about something important. My head is aching. I misread something, blow up and reply with a nasty, totally off the wall message. Fortunately, I’m dealing with adults. I cool down, acknowledge that this was my bust, things are back on track again. But why is this happening?

Is it alcohol poisoning? It’s bonenkai (forget the year party, i.e., office-party season in Japan). Excess encouraged by open bars does have consequences.

Is it frustration because my research and writing have hit a wall? OK, there was the chorus trip to Geneva followed by a nasty bout of flu. Ruth is probably right that I’m being too hard on myself. I will likely bounce back.

Is it aging? This is the scary one. Am I going to turn out like my dad, more prone to anger the older he got?

Whatever, getting really, really angry, in a black Irish way that my ancestors are notorious for, is something that has always terrified me. I mean real terror, so much I tend to go passive and change the subject in most social situations and channel my nastiness into academic snide on the net. When I blow up, I feel physically sick for hours.

Exercise helps. Yoga helps. Then come those moments when everything, alcohol, exhaustion, frustration, changing brain chemistry come together and I lose it.

Do you have this problem? How do you cope?

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8 Comments to “How do you manage anger?”

  1. John, as I understand it, to be true to your ethnic heritage you’re supposed to follow up fits of black rage with bouts of maudlin self-loathing and extravagant public penance. ;-D

    I do get angry and snap at people. Sometimes they don’t deserve it, always it’s a bad idea and a disappointment of my principles. I try not to get overtired so my resources of perception, affection and amusement at the human condition don’t get depleted. When all else fails, I try to stay or get away from people until I’m more pulled together.

    Hope you’re feeling better.

  2. Touche’ And thanks. I don’t know which side (Scotch-Irish or Franco-German) to attribute it to, but I am also like Robert Louis Stevenson’s india rubber ball. I bounce back pretty fast—especially with a bit of help from my friends.

    P.S.Wordpress is acting very strangely on my iPad. Has anyone else noticed this?

  3. A scroll-bar is flickering in and out of existence at the bottom of the browser’s window, when maximzed. The control on the side scroll bar is jiggling up and down slightly. It happens in FireFox, Chrome, and Internet Explorer. Does not appear to be happening in the Opera web browser. It ceases to happen, in FireFox at least, not having tested it in another browser, when I disable javascript. The “falling snow” stops too. I don’t know if the snow effect and the flicker are related.

  4. Having no problem in Safari running on Mac OSX. The screen is a total mess using Safari running on iOS5.

  5. I’m pretty sure it’s the snow. Let me know if the effect is severe enough to warrant turning it off.

  6. On iPad, the message briefly appears. Then the screen goes grey. Totally dead TV grey.

    John

    Sent from my iPad

  7. The flickering has gone away with the snow. I can’t speak for others, but I found the flickering on the bottom of the screen very distracting.

  8. On the iPad, things are fine until I try to comment. The comment block flips to black and everything freezes.

    John

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